Travelling When You Feel Like Everyone Else Has Their Life Figured Out

Being in your 20s can sometimes feel like you’re falling behind.

Some of your friends own houses. Others have their dream jobs, are engaged or married, or even have kids. And then there’s another version of comparison that seems almost impossible to escape: travel.

Scroll through Instagram or TikTok and you’ll see someone backpacking through Europe, spending a month in Bali, road-tripping across the country, or checking another destination off their bucket list.

It’s easy to feel jealous.

Even as someone who considers herself pretty well-travelled—and who is incredibly grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to travel—I still feel it sometimes. Especially when I see someone visiting a place that’s been sitting on my own bucket list.

And then I have to remind myself: I’m comparing my life to a tiny piece of someone else’s.

Feeling Behind in Your 20s Is More Common Than You Think

Maybe seeing someone travelling makes you feel like you’re missing out.

Maybe it makes you feel lonely. Maybe you wonder why you aren't doing more with your life, or why everyone else seems to be moving forward while you're standing still.

Or maybe it’s just a fleeting feeling that disappears five minutes later.

Whatever your reaction, feeling behind in your 20s is incredibly common.

The difficult part is that there are so many different ways to feel behind.

One person might be frustrated that they haven't found their dream career. Someone else might desperately want to travel more. Another person might wish they had a partner, a house, or a more stable income.

And the person you’re comparing yourself to probably has their own insecurities, too.

That’s one of the strange things about being in your 20s: almost everyone is comparing themselves to someone else, even when it doesn't look that way from the outside.

The Grass Is Always Greener

Imagine someone in their 20s who is living with their parents and is single, but has already visited four countries this year.

From the outside, it might look like they have everything figured out.

But maybe they’re worried about their career.

Maybe they wish they had a partner.

Maybe they’re stressed about money.

Maybe they’re perfectly happy with their choices.

And someone else might look at their life and think, I wish I had that freedom.

Neither person is necessarily better off.

They simply have different lives.

The person travelling four times a year might be envious of the person buying their first home. The person buying a home might be envious of the traveller's freedom. The person in a relationship might envy their single friend's independence, while the single friend wishes they had someone to come home to.

There will always be another version of life that looks better from the outside.

That doesn't mean you actually want that life.

Travel Doesn't Have to Be Your Whole Life

This is something I've had to remind myself of, especially when it comes to travel.

You can love travelling without doing constantly.

You can have a bucket list that takes years to complete.

You can see someone else's trip and feel a little jealous without letting that feeling make you unhappy with your own life.

And you don't have to make travel your identity.

Travel can be a huge part of your life, or just a small part of it.

You can spend one year backpacking across Europe and the next year staying closer to home. You can prioritize saving money for a house. You can focus on your career. You can spend more time with your family or friends.

There isn't one correct way to spend your twenties.

And there certainly isn't a deadline for seeing the world.

Social Media Doesn't Show the Full Picture

Travel content makes this especially difficult because we usually see the best parts.

We see the sunset from the airplane window.

The beautiful hotel.

The perfect beach.

The rooftop bar.

The photo from the top of the mountain.

We don't see the cancelled flight, the argument with a travel companion, the lonely night in a hostel, or the person worrying about money while they're away.

That's not necessarily because anyone is being dishonest. A photo is simply a snapshot.

And the same is true for every other part of someone's life.

You might see the engagement photo but not the relationship struggles.

You might see the new house but not the financial stress.

You might see the promotion but not the burnout.

You might see the passport stamps but not everything that person has sacrificed to travel.

You're looking at one piece of someone's life while experiencing your own life in its entirety.

Of course your life is going to look messier by comparison.

Your Life Doesn't Need to Look Like Anyone Else's

One of the hardest things about being in your 20s is realizing that there isn't a universal timeline.

Some people will travel the world at 22.

Some will do it at 42.

Some people will buy a house at 25.

Others won't want one at all.

Some people will find their dream career immediately. Others will change careers five times.

Some people will get married young. Others will never get married.

None of these paths are inherently better.

Your life isn't behind just because it doesn't look like someone else's.

Especially when travelling, remember that no single experience has to define you.

The same applies to everything else.

Your career doesn't have to be your identity.

Your relationship status doesn't have to be your identity.

Your home, your income, your passport stamps; they're all parts of your life, but none of them are the entirety of who you are.

Look at Your Own Side of the Grass

There will always be someone who seems to have something you don't.

A better job.

More money.

More freedom.

A relationship.

A house.

More travel.

A bigger friend group.

A life that, from the outside, seems a little greener than yours.

But remember: you're probably looking at their highlight reel while living through your behind-the-scenes.

So instead of constantly looking at someone else's grass, try looking at your own.

Look at the people you love.

The places you've already been.

The experiences you've had.

The things you're working toward.

The small moments that make your life yours.

Because there will always be something that looks better when you're only seeing half the picture.

Your twenties aren't a race.

You don’t need to have everything figured out.

And you don’t need to be everywhere.

You just need to build a life that feels like yours.